Free to Fix You and Me
by Desertfyre
Summary: Tag to 5x14: My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn’t even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby
1. And then,where do we go from here?

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: This is sorta a sequel my last fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation and their spin-offs: Prayer of Desperation and Prayer of Concern. I finished writing this a 1:00 last night. Normally I'm not up, but I got on such a role I had to keep going. I have finished the entire story, but whether I upload it all at the same time is another issue.

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 1: And then… Where do we go from here?

It has been six days since Famine's attack. Bobby had long since returned. He got back mid-afternoon the 2nd day. There had been some strain and tension in the household. Castiel had not left the brothers for anything opting to hang around. Sam had finished detoxing on the fourth day. His voice was hoarse from screaming, so all he managed was a whisper when necessary. Dean had his mask up higher and tighter than ever before and Castiel was concerned as was Bobby. Even Sam in his weaken state sensed the change in his brother and was concerned. Sam had tried to talk to Dean as best he could in his situation but Dean had avoided conversation as well as Sam's beseeching eyes.

Bobby and Castiel had watched Sam revert within himself as what always happened when Dean closed himself off from the world. Bobby could see this being like when their father died, perhaps worse in some ways…..and he was determined to stop it. The brothers had told Bobby what went down with the Famine but the older hunter knew that there was more the story that someone was not telling him. He may be handicapped but not blind.

Castiel, on the other hand, had not left since six days ago. He hung around the house observing and lending a hand when he could, which wasn't much. He was merely moral support. The rogue angel observed Dean knowing exactly what was bothering him but not knowing how to approach it with Dean. He debated telling Bobby knowing the older hunter would be able to help him, yet not wanting to betray Dean's confidence. On the other hand, as far as Dean suspected, he did not know that Castiel knew. He may have been affected by hunger but that didn't mean his hearing was affected as well. He heard what Famine had said to Dean and wanted him to know that it was a lie.

Sam had stopped pressing Dean since a few days ago and quietly withdrew into himself. As usual his brain was beginning to get the best of him and silently he began to blame himself for Dean's avoidance of him. He was beginning to think he was foolish to hope that his brother wouldn't be angry with him for what he did. Dean had said he wasn't angry and Sam believed him.

Or was it that he allowed himself to believe what he wanted to hear?

He was convinced that he longer his brother thought about what had happened, the angrier he probably got. But Sam knew that Dean felt obligated to help him get back on his feet, but he dreaded the day he was. Would his brother toss him aside again? It was no less than he deserved. All these thoughts passed through Sam's head bringing his mood down considerably to the brooding stage. Sam was haunted by the future. He knew if he was to hold out against Lucifer he needed his brother and friends supporting him. He knew that if they had to take sides, they would choose Dean.

And Sam expected no less.

All the while, Dean himself had clammed up tighter than a clam itself. After his prayer to a God, wasn't sure existed, he returned to keep visel over his brother. He noticed Castiel's quiet worry over him and was thankful that wisely the angel kept his mouth shut. Though his piercing blue glaze wasn't any better. Dean loathed their last hunt with the Famine. He loathed what the Famine forced Sam into ; he loathed when it forced himself into.

He hated; he raged.

Anger filled his being. He was trying hard to control it but one false step and he would explode. He already tittered on the edge. Sam tried to talk to him but Dean couldn't let him get too close. He saw that Sam was going into brooding mood but was not in his right frame of mind to pull him out or plain stop it. For once he was secretly counting on Bobby and Castiel to keep Sam emotionally grounded. It was wrong, he knew, but how could he care for Sam when he couldn't care for himself.

Sam didn't deserve a living dead brother; a brother equivalent to a zombie. Sam deserved more than that. Much more.

And Dean didn't know how to give him that.

**TBC.... **


	2. Misdirected, Misinterpreted Anger

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Because Dean is depressed in this story he does not act 100% like himself. I tried to keep him in character as much as possible but he does do some things (and sometimes don't do somethings) because he is not in his right frame of mind.

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 2: Misdirected, Misinterpreted Anger

"You need to eat, Sam, to keep up your strength", Bobby said gruffly yet gently.

The group was currently having dinner except Castiel who stood in the corner of the kitchen observing as usual. Sam only had oatmeal since it wasn't very taxing food. For the past ten minutes he had been nitpicking at his food, not looking up from his bowl.

"I'm not very hungry, Bobby", Sam said softly. So soft, Bobby had to lean forward to catch his words.

Dean looked up at Sam from his own oatmeal. Bobby had declared they all have oatmeal and was stunned that he got no lip from Dean. The only response he got was for him to shrug and walk off. If Bobby didn't suspect something wrong before that, he did now. Actually Bobbly noticed that Dean hasn't eaten much over the last few days either.

"You need to eat, Sam", Bobby coached. He looked at Dean who took a drink of his water.

Another thing Bobby noticed is, as far as he saw, Dean hasn't drunk any alcohol in days. If anything it was water or soda pop. When did Dean drink pop if there was beer around? He knew that Dean loved himself a good beer.

Another sign that didn't show good tidings.

Bobby glared at Dean before looking back at Sam a little helplessly. Dean had yet to offer his opinion on the situation. Normally, he jump in by now, but instead he sat shifting his oatmeal, not even eating much himself and looking at Sam rather absently.

"A few more bites", Bobby ordered.

Sam shook his head. "I can't. Anymore bites and I'll probably throw up. I'm sorry, Bobby", Sam said setting his spoon and holding his stomach loosely, sitting back in the chair. He did look a little green and he only had a total of three bites so that wasn't good.

Dean studied Sam a moment. Sam was looking more at the ceiling. Dean tried to make himself overly concern as he usually was but laced the energy to do so. He sighed and stood up.

He moved to Sam's side and said softly, "Let's go, Sam. You probably need to lie back down." His voice was husky and soft from not being used much. There wasn't any of the usual emotion in his voice. It lacked virtually everything.

"That's okay. I got it", Sam said lowering his head, careful not to meet Dean's eyes. He didn't want to burden Dean but he did feel ill. And the continuous brooding thoughts was doing nothing to help matters.

"Don't be stupid Sam", Dean sighed. It sounded weird to hear neither conviction nor emotion behind his words, emotions of either good or bad.

It was just…….empty.

"Come" a voice said. Castiel seemed to appear next to Sam. Sam hesitated but finally allowed the rogue angel to help him up and out of the dining room. Dean just watched the duo leave before sitting back down in his own chair, slumping. Bobby was staring at him, having gotten use to the fact that Dean seemed to do nothing that he normally did to help his little brother.

If Dean could still feel as he did, he knew would loathed the fact that he couldn't take care of his brother properly right now. He did intellectually loathed it but emotionally he was spent. He snorted to himself in intellectual disgust with himself and if possible slumped further down into his seat.

* * *

Castiel, helped Sam back to the made-up couch in the living room. Sam slumped down on the couch and smiled tiredly yet gratefully up at Castiel.

"Thank you", he murmured.

"No thanks are needed", Castiel replied back placing his hands behind his back and staring straight.

"Much thanks are needed Castiel. You have not left Dean yet", Sam stated, leaning back into the couch, plucking at the blanket next to him.

Castiel looked back at Sam a little perplex. "What about you?"

Now it was Sam's turn to be confused. "What about me?"

Castiel cocked his head but did not answer. What was it about Sam that could never see that he deserved to be comforted like his brother? Castiel never understood this trait in Sam. He knew that Sam felt he didn't deserve it but it still didn't make his feelings right. Lost in his thoughts he was pulled out by Sam's voice.

"I'm worried about Dean", Sam said finally looking down at his plucking.

"As am I", Castiel stated.

Sam chuckled humorlessly. "I'm sure he is angry with me. He has every right to be."

Castiel looked confused again. "Dean is angry with you?" It came out a question.

Sam looked up at Castiel with the best 'where have you been' look he could muster at the moment. "Yes, Castiel, Dean is angry with me."

"This is not what I have observed", Castiel answered thoughtfully.

"Then you weren't observing correctly", Sam sighed.

"Dean is to be concerned about, yes, I agree but I can assure you with certainty that he is not angry with you."

"Perhaps not at first but I'm sure it took awhile for the shock to wear off and the anger to boil to a point."

Castiel cocked his head, as his blue eyes pierced Sam. "Sam, look at me."

Sam looked at him surprisingly easy. Castiel cocked his head the opposite way, looking straight into Sam's hazel eyes. "This is not true, Sam. Dean is not angry with you."

Sam studied him a moment but remained unconvinced. He sighed and laid down prone on the couch throwing the blanket over him. This wasn't going to get anywhere. Castiel believed that his big brother wasn't angry but he knew his big brother well. How many mistakes could he make before Dean had enough? He didn't wish to think about that. He had messed up too much and it seemed that would forever be the pattern.

"I'm tired Castiel", Sam said smally reverting back to his five year old self.

"Then rest", Castiel stated obviously. He lingered a moment making sure Sam was settle before intending on rejoining Bobby and Dean in the kitchen.

**TBC....**

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A.N: Some rare Castiel and Sam friendship, here. ^_^


	3. Gathering the Forces

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Mostly Castiel and Bobby centered this chapter.

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 3: Gathering the forces

Bobby watched as Castiel helped Sam return to his makeshift bed on the couch.

Something that Dean should have been doing.

It was discerning to see the rogue angel doing things that normally Dean would do. And Sam letting him do those things that normally his big brother did. And what's worse, Dean didn't even seem to protest. Bobby had never seen Dean look so broody before. Normally that was Sam's department. Bobby was thankful the angel had decided to stick around. He was a rare help always stepping in at the right time when it was obvious Dean had slipped away somewhere.

Speaking of which….

Bobby couldn't help but to glare at Dean who just sat dejectly playing with his food.

"Dean……" Said male didn't respond except that he blinked when Bobby spoke, "Dean, I'm sorry but this is getting ridiculous. I have put up with this for the past few days hoping that you'd tell me what's truly wrong. Now, my patience is about shot, boy. What the heck is going on?"

Dean sighed. "Bobby, I told….."

"Not everything. I may be handicapped now, but I'm not stupid, boy", Bobby interrupted.

Dean was silent.

"Dean, you better have something to say", Bobby near growled.

Dean just glanced at him with a long face before he stood up. "I…..need some fresh air", he murmured looking away from Bobby before he quietly stole out the door into the evening.

Bobby sighed. He was truly worried. This was worse than when their father died, he decided.

Castiel entered in time to see Dean walking out the door. He frowned as he stared after the young hunter. Bobby quietly began to put away the food as Castiel just stood staring at the door. Silence filled the place for awhile before Castiel looked at Bobby. He needed to tell Bobby to help him get through to Dean, yet he was unsure that it was wise. As far as Dean knew, he didn't know Castiel knew. He was sure that Dean wouldn't appreciate Castiel blabbing it to everyone even if he didn't know, Castiel knew.

Castiel winced at his thoughts. This was becoming troublesome, enough to give him a headache. He was at a lost at what to do.

"If you keep frowning your face will stick that way", came Bobby's voice.

Castiel glanced at Bobby. Maybe he could enlist some kind of help? He knew he couldn't do this alone and again, he was getting a headache.

Not a pleasant situation….

"I have a question, if you will", he started.

"Yeah", Bobby asked cautiously.

Castiel was silent a moment contemplating, trying to organize his thoughts.

A trying process indeed.

"I know what is wrong with Dean." he said finally.

This got Bobby's full attention. He stopped everything, even turning his wheelchair to face Castiel completely. "Well, spill it! What is wrong with the idjit? Wait, Dean told you what was wrong?"

Castiel shifted once, the only sign of his discomfort. "No, he did not tell me directly."

Bobbly deflated slightly, "Then what makes you think you know?"

"It is something that has been said to him. I was there but otherwise…..occupied."

Bobby groaned once. This was not helping his frustration level. "Castiel just tell me what you think is wrong with Dean."

Castiel crunched up his face in the typical 'don't get it' look. "I do not wish to betray his confidence on the matter, even if he doesn't think I know."

Bobby sighed. "That is understandable, but since you are the only one that has a clue about what is happening under this roof, it seems, then it does good to tell, especially since the idjit doesn't look like he's going to ask for help. He's so stubborn. If you don't tell, then he may not be around for you to worry about betraying his confidence."

Silence filled the place as Castiel thought about Bobby's words. Bobby was watching him, hoping that Castiel would share it with him. At the moment he wouldn't be above trying to beat it out of him if he has too. How he would manage that, he had no idea, but the operative word was….try.

"Very well", Castiel obviously found something that made sense in Bobby's statement.

Bobby leaned forward placing his arms on the table. "I'm listening…." He prompted seriously.

"During the battle with the Famine, he said some things to Dean and it stuck him deeply."

"What did he say?"

"Everyone was affected by the Famine including me", Castiel changed the path of the conversation

"So?" Bobby couldn't see what the problem was and he was trying to follow this change of gears. Castiel didn't answer his first question.

Besides thank God, someone's head was on straight during the whole ordeal.

Castiel was silent a moment. "Famine's theory for Dean not being affected was that he was dead inside."

This revelation made Bobby hissed. Hoo, if that….that thing wasn't dead now……

"And Dean listened to that mumbo jumbo?" Bobby asked anger at the situation evident in this tone.

"Everything has taken a toll on Dean and this is what straw upon the camel's back that broke."

Bobby opened his mouth then close it. He paused before opening it again. "I think what you are trying to say is that was the last straw or that was the straw the broke the camel's back."

Castiel cocked his head, confusion marring his features. "I fail to see how straw can break a camel's back. Camel's are strong and sturdy creatures."

"Nevermind. Focus, Castiel, focus. Now we need to find a way to get though Dean. He has obviously been depressed for the last going on a week now."

Castiel nodded. "I agree. If this is left uncheck Dean will fall deeper into despair. I fear for his mental wellbeing." Castiel paused a moment before continuing. "Also, Sam is getting a misconception about Dean right now. I do not understand how though."

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked concerned about the youngest. He wasn't surprise that Sam's brain was playing things against him. He always blamed himself for Dean's moods.

"Sam thinks Dean is angry with him for the events that has taken place", Castiel answered.

Bobby sighed. This was getting out of hand. Dean was depressed and refused to talk about what was wrong and what's worse, he was sending the wrong message to Sam. Sam, being well Sam, has taken it as another fault of his and started brooding over his perceived fault.

And the brooding was no doubt slowing down the healing process.

And now it was up to him and Castiel to straighten this mess out and switch on a light for these boys. It wasn't going to be easy that was for sure.

**TBC...**

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A.N: Bobby and Castiel have joined forces to try and help the brothers. I sorta tortured Castiel a little with all the thoughts running through his head didn't I? I cracked up when he didn't get the "straw" analogy right. lol


	4. Intervention

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Nothing to really say before hand about this chapter.

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 4: Intervention

Dean poked his head into the house, from outside glancing around. Seeing no one as the lights were off in the kitchen he figured that Bobby had retired to bed. He quietly entered the house through the back door, shutting it softly. He felt marginally better returning but had no wish for conversation. He didn't want to hear what Bobby had to say. He wouldn't understand.

No one understood.

It was just something he would have to deal with himself. Unfortunately as Winchester luck would have it, peace that night was not coming.

He barely got a foot on the first step leading up the stairs when a familiar gruff voice called out, "Come here, boy."

Dean tensed and tried to pretend he wasn't there. He didn't move a muscle, hoping that Bobby would think he just heard cricket so something.

No such luck. "I won't repeat myself again, boy", came the voice, "Turn on the light on your way in here"

Dean sighed before making his way into the kitchen, flipping the light on as he went. Bobby sat the dining table and Castiel stood in the corner watching him.

"Hey, Bobby. Cas.", Dean sighed, "Is Sam out?"

"Like a light", Bobby answered.

"Good, I'm gonna follow and get some shuteye. I'm beat", Dean said. He turned to go back the way he came.

"Dean…." Bobby's voice held a warning note.

"Bobby it's late, can't whatever it is wait till morning?"

"No, it has waited long enough. Sit down…."

"But…."

Boy, get your behind in a seat", Bobby barked.

Dean flopped into a seat after he pulled it out.

Silence followed a few moments. Bobby glanced at Castiel briefly. The angel never took his eyes from the young hunter.

"So Dean, anything you got to tell us?" Bobby asked. He would give Dean a final chance to come clean.

Dean scoffed. "No….."

"So you wanna tell us what's bothering you? What's really bothering you?" Bobby asked.

"Dunno what you are talking about", Dean sighed.

"With the Famine?"

"I told you…."

"Not everything." Bobby sighed at Dean's lack of response and looked at Castiel.

"Dean."

"What is it Cas?" Dean sighed again.

"I heard what the Famine said to you. It is untrue you know", the angel murmured.

Dean tensed briefly, his face scrunching up. He said in a tight pained voice, "I don't know what you are talking about." Castiel couldn't have heard could he? As far as Dean knew, no one heard those words that plagued him to this day.

_Because inside you are already…..dead……_

Castiel's mouth twitched once. "Dean, I may have been under the influence of hunger but believe it or not, my hearing was not affected. Famine did not make me deaf, Dean."

Dean managed a weak smirk. "Wow, you did pick up some sarcasm from me after all, Cas. I'm proud."

Castiel cocked his head. He was unable to figure out why Dean did not wish to confront this issue. "Dean", he said taking a step forward, "I know what he Famine said to you. He claimed you were dead inside. You know that it is not true."

Dean twitched. The most visible energy he has shown in awhile. "Castiel….. you know nothing", his voice was low and held a warning note as he sat up a little straighter in his chair glaring at the angel.

Castiel was not in any way ruffled as he continued, "He was lying Dean. You are not dead inside", he pressed on. He needed to get that through Dean's head. He was vulnerable in this state. Castiel was concerned with Michael perhaps taking advantage of Dean. They had come this far. He would not allow it to happen.

Dean stood slowly, palms digging into the wooden table. The rage that that had consumed him early that week as coming back stronger than ever, threatening to explode. "Cas, you will shut up if you know what's good for you. I refuse to have this conversation."

"You ain't no choice, you idjit", Bobby snorted.

Dean glared at his second father. "Neither of you know anything."

"We are merely concerned about you, Dean." Castiel said covering the distance between them, "I'm concerned about you." Blue eyes started at glaring green ones, "I do not want you to be taken advantage of. If I was Michael this would be the perfect time to strike. As well as Lucifer. Both of you are vulnerable and that tips the advantage to Lucifer and Michael right now."

Dean snorted. "What, you scared I'll say yes?"

"Are you thinking about it?" Bobby asked.

"I aint saying no to that #%$^." Dean cried furious.

"That's not what I asked you", Bobby said calmly, "I asked if you had been or is thinking about it", he rephrased.

Dean pushed off the table, turning his back to them as he said....

**TBC....**

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A.N.: *evil laughter* What was Dean's response? Left with a cliff-hanger eh? By now, Dean's attitude should be sorta scaring everyone. If you aren't "scared", trust me, next chapter or two you will be.


	5. Explosion of Anger Overtaking

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Again I want to say that since Dean is depressed, he is not acting like his normal self, ergo he is saying things he doesn't mean.

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 5: Explosion of Anger Overtaking

"Do you honestly believe I'm that stupid?" Dean cried in response.

Castiel read beyond Dean's mere words and looked grave. He spoke, "It has passed your mind of late, when your soul was weary."

Dean growled, "I cannot believe that we are having this conversation!"

Both Castiel and Bobby could hear that Dean didn't give a straight answer.

And that worried them.

"I thought so Dean. I know your father, taught you ill habits, but now is not the time to push everything away and deal with it by yourself. Think of your brother", Bobby said.

"Sam will be fine", Dean muttered, running his hand down his face. His back was still turned from Bobby and Castiel. He had to convince himself, his brother would be okay, so he could deal with himself.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Where have you been the last week? Sam is drowning like you. He thinks you are mad at him", Bobby near yelled. He was sick of this trip that Dean has been going on. It's so unlike him.

Dean sighed, deflating slightly. "Bobby, don't start….."

"I can't believe this", now Bobby was yelling, "Here you are seriously standing there and not having a response to your brother drowning? Are you off in your own world, picking flowers or something? What?"

Dean turned back eyes blazing. The fury that disappeared a moment ago came flying back. "Don't you dare say that to me, Bobby! You have no idea what I'm going through, right now. Of course I'm not mad at Sam."

"Well, you sure act like it", Bobby snapped back.

"I have my own issues to deal with. I'm trying. I've tried. I'm tired, Bobby. Don't you people get that? I'm freaking tired!!"

"I understand that Dean, but giving up is not the way", Castiel interjected.

"Who the heck said anything about giving up?" Dean asked.

"You are giving up on your brother, and you are giving up on yourself." Bobby said.

"I haven't given up on Sam."

Castiel and Bobby were aware he said nothing about himself. They'd deal with that shortly.

"Then start acting like it, boy!! He has been though just as much as you if not more and he needs his brother."

"He has the two of you as well." Dean scoffed.

"And that is swell, but ultimately it's you he needs, or have you forgotten about that?" Bobby yelled.

"It's amazing how it's always about him, all the time. The few times I need to myself to get myself together it always comes back to me not helping him!! How the heck am I always the bad guy?" Anger was speaking for Dean now.

"We are trying to help you, you idjit. We've been trying all week and yet you still clam up and then make matters worse you send the wrong message to Sam!"

"What message is that?"

"That you are mad at him, I said that already Dean."

"I'm not mad at him! How is it always about me being mad at him? He always guilt trip over the stupidest things!" Dean yelled.

"Then stop acting like you are mad. You know how your brother is. He wants to make sure you are okay and since you aren't and he knows you aren't he is dealing with it the only way he knows how. You know this better than I do."

"Sam needs to get it through his freaking head that it's not all about him. He doesn't have to shoulder this burden all by himself!"

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?! Aren't you doing the same thing? Trying to shoulder this burden by yourself instead of allowing your friends and family to help. Family don't end with blood boy, haven't I said this before?" Bobby hissed. He would throttle the man if he could.

"Bobby, man, you are getting on my nerves", Dean growled a warning.

"I'm just now getting on your nerves? Boy, let me tell you something, you've been on my nerves. I lost my nerves back at that last turn", Bobby growled back.

"We need to reset our priorities and regroup", Castiel said finding it relatively safe to inject into the conversation once more since the two stop yelling for the time being.

"No, Castiel. What we need is for two people to stop meddling in our affairs", Dean growled at Castiel.

"It's amazing how it's all of a sudden "our affairs" once again", Bobby said doing quoting fingers, exchanging a glance with Castiel.

"You know nothing, Castiel know nothing and Sam know zip as well!", Dean voice was steadily rising. "All of you need to quit bothering me!! I just want to be left alone!! So what if, I can't be strong every freaking day of the freaking year!! Everyone keeps looking at me like I've got it together all the time. This world doesn't need me and Sam sure don't need me! He doesn't need a freaking dead brother!"

"What are you saying?" came a whispered voice.

The trio in the kitchen all turned to face the voice. Sam was leaning in the doorway, looking a little worse for wear.

**TBC.....**

* * *

A.N: Uh-oh, Sam has caught what he probably shouldn't have caught.

Dean is scaring me in this chapter, I don' t know about you guys......and to think it's not over. :( Apparently, Dean is cracking, and it isn't good. I figured Dean is entitled to some cracking and angst at this point in time.

Stick with me, and trust me it'll get better...........


	6. Panic and Anger

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Some major Sam angst coming up.....

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

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Chapter 6: Panic and Anger

"Sam, what are you doing out of bed?" Bobby asked concerned.

"I woke up to all of the yelling", Sam stated, still looking at his brother. He was looking at Dean confused, trying to read him, but finding himself unable to.

And it scared him.

Dean wasn't even looking at him. "Dean, what do you mean that I don't need a dead brother?" Sam asked.

Dean didn't answer nor look at his younger brother.

Sam felt himself starting to panic, though he tried to remain calm. The word 'dead' accompany with Dean in any way shape or form made him think ill thoughts thus the panicking.

"What did you do? Why did you say that?" Sam asked more firmly. Well, as firmly as he could, though some panic broke through his voice.

Dean shifted but otherwise stubbornly kept his glaze away from Sam. He heard the panic in this voice but for once didn't do anything about it. What could he do? What could he say?

"Answer me, darn it!" Sam yelled, "Are you going somewhere? I know I messed up again and I know I don't deserve you to stay but……Are you guys leaving me?" He looked around wildly, his eyes huge and glistening. There was a chance Sam might develop a fever, if he wasn't already in the mist of one brewing, since panic seemed to be gripping him so easily.

"Wait a second, Sam no one is leaving anyone", Bobby said. He could see the panic that was overtaking Sam. He glared at Dean, who hasn't said anything. He was hoping to get this situation under control. He still couldn't believe that it was this out of control.

"Sam, calm down", Castiel said stepping to Sam's said to steady him. He was looked at the younger male concerned, his lips tightly pressed in a line. Sam looked ready to pass out as well.

"I'm so sorry you guys. I know I'm a screw-up, but I swear to you that I'm trying so, so hard. I'm sorry. I just….."

That did it for Dean. He couldn't take this speech he heard a thousand time and all its variations. "SHUT UP, SAM!!" he exploded making Sam jump and then cower a bit.

"DEAN!" Bobby yelled applauded.

"NO, okay!! God, Sam you need to stop apologizing!!", Dean was looking at Sam now, "You need to stop thinking everything is your fault, directly or indirectly!! Not everything is about you!! Can't you see that in your teenage angst party?"

"Dean!! That was uncalled for!" Bobby said. He wished he could walk so he could tan Dean's hide at this moment. Couldn't he see that Sam was panicking? He wouldn't be surprised if he had developed, was developing or is developing a fever after all this.

"I'm sorry….." Sam murmured, his chest tightening. He didn't know what else to say.

"What the heck did I just say?" Dean asked menacing taking a step forward. His voice made Sam jump slightly and look back at Dean a little helplessly.

Castiel stood in front of Sam, holding out his hand. Upon his usually impassive face he had a warning glint in his eyes. "Stand down, Dean. I will not repeat myself."

"What? What are you going to do? Huh? Nothing, that's what you are going to do! Not a thing. Not a darn thing", Dean spat.

"Why are you acting like this? What else am I suppose to say?" Sam asked seeing the anger clearly visible on Dean's face. He couldn't understand what was happening to his big brother. He didn't know what else to say or do.

"I need for you to stop thinking everything is your fault. Can you do that for me? Can you do that one little thing, huh? Actually better yet, don't say anything. Just stop talking. I'm tired of hearing your mouth…..all that comes out is angst." Dean shot back.

Bobby growled and rolled his chair towards Dean.

"What are you going to do, old man? Run me down with a wheelchair?" Dean snorted.

Bobby shook his head sadly, knowing that Dean was far gone in his anger and depression to see the harm he was causing. Castiel looked a little shocked at Dean's attitude.

Sam looked down at the ground, trying to wish away the tears that had began to cloud his eyes. The ache in his chest increased and it took everything in him not to clutch his chest. "I'll do whatever you want, Dean. I'm just begging you not to leave me. At least not right now.", he said looking up after he got himself together.

Dean scoffed. "I'm still here, Sam."

"It doesn't seem like you are because you want to be", Sam said softly.

"Sam", Dean's voice and eyes held a warning note.

Sam licked his lips. "Dean…..listen…….It……"

"No, just……no", Dean deflated suddenly seeming to crash as he features donned the depressed look the others had come to be familiar with over the days.

This deflation somehow made the ache in Sam's chest and the panic in this body dull a little. "I still don't know what you meant by that statement you made", Sam persisted. He needed to know for his own peace of mind.

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter." Dean said softly as he turned to leave the kitchen.

"It does to me. Please Dean. I'm just worried, that's all." Panic was in full swing now. "Dean, please. I'm begging you man!"

"No one worries about a living dead man", Dean spat before leaving quickly.

"Dean….." Sam went to move follow him but swayed.

Castiel steadied him but Sam squirmed to get to Dean. "Let me go, I gotta talk to Dean. Is he gonna die or something? Is he leaving? If he leaves again, what I'm I suppose to do?" He was like a little kid again, that 5 year old depending on his brother to make things right. "I barely survived last time. Then he'll take you guys and then I'll be alone. And then Lucifer will come and I won't be able to resist. God, I'm sorry Dean, please don't hate me!"

"Sam….Sam" both Castiel and Bobby had been trying to get Sam to calm in his rambling and the more he talked the more worried the pair got.

Sam turned to Castiel gripping the front of his trench coat. His eyes were wide searching Castiel's face. "Castiel, what does he mean by that? Is he gonna leave me? It's not any less than I deserved but I had hoped…..Is he going to die, again? That's it isn't it? You can't let that happen. You resurrected him the first time…"

"Sam", Castiel tried to break in, lifting his hands to grip Sam's wrists.

"But if he dies again, you can't do anything can you?"

"Sam", Bobby tried.

"I swear to you, I'd let Lucifer have free reign if you let that happen." Sam's eyes momentarily got their blaze back.

"Sam!" Bobby cried.

"Listen to me, Sam", Castiel was calm as he spoke to Sam who was glaring determinedly, yet still held a wildness in his eyes, down at him, "You must not allow Lucifer in, no matter what. Do you understand me?"

"Then someone better get me in the loop and fast", Sam spat returning to his normal self for that brief moment, "I swear Castiel…..Aren't you Dean's guardian angel or something?"

"Sam, please calm down!", Castiel cried shaking him once. Sam quieted but still had a wild look in his eyes, "The Famine, he claimed that Dean was dead inside for the reason that he was not affected."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Sam cried, "That is a load of crap if I ever heard it. Dean is not dead inside. I should know; I'm his brother."

"Sam, Dean has been wrestling with this for days and he refused to allow us to help."

"But he isn't dying right", Sam reaffirmed.

"No, he isn't dying", Bobby said.

Sam looked relived to hear that as he looked down breathing a little easier, releasing Castiel's trench coat slightly. The panic began to die away. "Good….I had thought. When I heard that…..I thought he might have done something stupid or going to do something stupid. He's been so……depressed lately that he has been scaring me. I just want him to be okay, that's all. If he left I could handle that better than if he died. Just as long as he is alive, that is all that matters to me."

"No one is leaving anyone Sam, whether in death or just plain shipping out. You need to get better as well, Sam", Bobby said.

Sam let go of Castiel's trench coat and clutched the wall, leaning on it. He looked off the side away from Bobby and Castiel. "Maybe…."

"What the heck do you mean, 'maybe'?" Bobby asked sternly.

Sam was silent before answering, "Maybe I deserve this."

"No, Sam you do not."

"I messed up…..again. Story of my ever-loving life", Sam stated bitterly, "I couldn't even do this right and then I help send Dean into a downward spiral."

"Didn't you hear what Castiel just said, boy?" Bobby asked exasperated with the likes of Winchesters and their stubborn attitude.

"I heard, Bobby, but let's face it, I didn't help him any. Because of my actions, he is suffering as well and I try so hard to do the right thing and I still mess up."

"And the Famine had no part in this huh?" Bobby asked mockingly glaring at Sam.

Sam looked at him as if he hadn't considered the point. But as always Sam would find a way around it, "Bobby, if I hadn't been into demon blood before, it wouldn't have been there for the Famine to use against me."

"If it wasn't the demon blood, Sam it would have been something else", Castiel reassured.

Sam shook his head sadly. "No, I'm……." he stared off into space longingly. He snapped out of it and lowered his head, his long bangs shielding his eyes. "I'm tired." He sagged against the wall, all his energy spent.

"Castiel, will see you are tucked in", Bobby said glancing at the angel who nodded and quietly lead Sam back to the couch.

Bobby sighed. They might have gotten somewhere tonight but not as well as he hoped. He turned out the kitchen lights before rolling away to bed.

Unbeknownst to all of them, Dean had listened to part of the conversation from his seat on the steps. His head was buried in his hands. It wasn't fair to Sam. Now that anger had been washed away, he berated himself for yelling at his brother like that. For yelling at his friends like that. Seeing such panic in Sam's eyes he should have laid it to rest not bait his brother.

How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself?

**TBC....**

* * *

A.N: Sam's rambling didn't make a whole lot of sense, but that was kinda the point. He was rambling.

I think Dean has realized what he has done and is slowly undepressing. This was sorta hard to write with Dean acting so mean to everyone. Though, I'm not done torturing Sam. Major LimpAngstSam coming up. You thought this was angst, you have no idea. And re-entering BigBrother Dean. Yay!


	7. Fever Stricken

Disclaimer:Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N:As promised (or was in threatened? Depends on your view eh? ^_~) major AngstLimp Sam coming up. I'm milking the AngstLimp Sam for all that it's worth. Every last drop. Oh yeah, and a side of BigBrotherGuilt Dean, cause I'm sure right about now, everyone misses him.

Summary:Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

* * *

Chapter 7: Fever Stricken

Dean awoke the next morning rather late. He hardly slept, his guilt eating away at him as well as his depression. He laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. He tried to justify his actions but anyway he sliced it, it did nothing to make him feel better about the situation. He needed to make amends but one question kept repeating in his mind:

How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself?

And that was what kept him up all night. He needed to fix everything but how. It did not seem fixable.

He sat up slowly and ran his hands through his hair. After a moment, he got up and he did his morning routine before throwing on some clothes and walking down the stairs.

A plate of food was all that was on the table. That and a glass of water. Dean didn't feel like eating. The guilt lessened his appetite considerably. Actually the mere mention of food was enough to make his stomach churn.

And not in a good way.

Or once again was that the guilt?

"Morning, you idjit", Bobby gruffed out.

"Bobby, about last night……I'm sorry. I never should have disrespected you as I did." Dean said.

Bobby glared at him. "You are right, but I think your brother needs your apology more than I do."

Dean nodded looking remorseful. "But let me tell you something, boy." Dean looked up at the stern voice.

"You ever and I mean EVER talk to me like that in my own house or talk to your brother like that in this house, I SWEAR to you, I may not be able to walk but I will find a gun and roll behind you till I get a good shot and blast you sky high. Do you understand me?"

Dean nodded.

"I can't hear you boy, speak up!"

"Yes, sir."

Bobby looked at Dean a moment longer. He could see the change in the younger man. "Good now, go take care of your brother like you should have been doing."

Dean nodded once and went to exit the kitchen only to almost run into Castiel. "Cas….."

"Good morning Dean."

Was it his imagination or did Castiel say that with a little ice in his voice? Well, he owed the angel an apology as well. "Hey, Castiel, about last night…."

"You are forgiven, Dean but we still must talk", Castiel interrupted his voice softening. He too saw the change in Dean and was glad that he did. Though right now there was bigger things afoot.

"About what?"

"My concern lies with your brother", Castiel said his glaze shifting to Bobby, who looked worried as well.

Dean looked between the two. "What's wrong?" That familiar worry that had been absent for so long was starting to come back. Dean found he was glad, he had missed it.

There was silence a moment too long for Dean's comfort.

"Your brother has a fever, Dean", Castiel answered finally.

"What?"

"It was probably developing already and last night was no help", Bobby said. He didn't want to put more guilt on Dean but he had to know. Bobby was glad that Dean seemed to be coming out of his zone a little. At least he seemed to be caring about what is going on with his brother again.

Castiel looked gravely at the floor. "I'm worried not about the fever ultimately…..but that fact that……." He trailed off not wanting to say it.

Green eyes bore holes in him. "What Castiel?" Dean asked.

Castiel didn't answer right away but finally he lifted his glaze to pierce Dean's. "Lucifer could use this time to strike."

"Not on my watch", Dean growled before rushing into the living room.

Castiel blinked after Dean before turning to Bobby. "He seems to be doing better this morning", he observed.

Bobby smirked. "Yes, it seems he might be coming back to himself. I believe last night came as a shock to him after all he did."

"Perhaps you are right", Castiel said drawing a seat out from the table and sitting down.

Bobby raised an eyebrow at the angel. Castiel didn't look at Bobby but said, "I'm sure the two need this moment to themselves. I shall give them a few minutes before checking up on them."

Bobby shook his head with a small chuckle.

They were a mismatched group that was for sure.

* * *

Dean entered the living room to see Sam twisting on the couch. The blankets were thrown every which a way.

"Sam", Dean breathed. He rushed over and knelt next to Sam. He placed a hand over Sam's forehead. It was hot to the touch. Dean looked around and saw a bowl of water and a damp cloth, that obviously was being used.

Dean took the cloth and put in the cold water before pulling it out and ringing it. He turned back to his brother and pressed it over his forehead.

"Sam, Sammy, you've got to calm down man", he coached, his voice rough with emotion. How did he let it get to this? He should have been helping Sam, not pushing him to this.

Sam moaned in his fever and muttered. Dean couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Sammy, I'm sorry. I know they are shallow words but they are all I have to offer. I'm so sorry, Sammy. I shouldn't have been so caught up in my……..angst not to try and help you. I should have at the very least come to you about it instead of keeping it from you. Please Sammy, you'll beat this. We'll beat this…somehow. I'm sorry I haven't been the big brother you needed. I haven't even been the Dean I've needed but that is no excuse."

Sam groaned but didn't acknowledge Dean's words.

"Sammy, please open your eyes at least", he begged. If Dean could see his brother's eyes, at least something could be salvage in Dean's mind. As long as Sam's eyes were close it would be harder to reach his little brother.

" 'm 'orry", Sam moaned out shuddering, "Didn't 'ean to. I tried. I'm so'ry!"

Dean's eyes widen as he rewet the cloth to make it cooler again.

" 'ease don't 'eve me. God, everyone leaves me!" Sam near sick yelled. He turned his face into the couch's back.

Dean's heart speed up. He turned Sam's head back to towards him to wipe his face.

"I'm 'orry. Please 'on't leave me, Dean. I 'wear 'll do better"

Tears welled in Dean's eyes. How could he have let it come to this? How could he have allowed Sam to think such things when he had it in his power to stop it?

"Sammy, Sammy, open your eyes for me. I'm here now. I'm here. For real now. You're big brother is back again. I gotcha, I gotcha", Dean begged gripping Sam's face with his hands. The cloth lay forgotten on the floor.

Still Sam withed and muttered, apologizing for being a failure.

Apologizing for not being strong enough.

Apologizing for being cursed.

The longer Dean listened the more upset he became over it. Tears began to make his way down his face and onto Sam's own as Dean was level with his brother's face still clutching in with his hands.

"Please Sam, you've gotta wake up."

Sam mumbled something and still for a moment. Dean thought perhaps the nightmares had stopped plaguing his brother but his hope was short-lived.

"Lucifer", Sam mumbled.

That one word made Dean's blood ran cold.

"Sammy!!", he was panicking now.

"Lucifer no. Ahhh.", Sam murmured.

Dean's eyes widen. "Sammy, Sammy!" he repeated, shaking his brother's head then yelled behind him, "Castiel, get your behind in here!"

Not a second later, Castiel stood over Sam.

"Lucifer….." Sam muttered.

"Do something!" Dean begged looking up at Castiel who look upset himself, "Can't you send him into deep sleep, something, man. Just make it stop!"

Castiel looked distressed. "We have to wake Sam up. It's the only way. You must wake your brother up. I cannot do this thing. Either by fever induced or for real Lucifer might have a hold on him and only a strong connection will break it. You must be the one to wake him up Dean. Either way, if he constents, constent is constent whether one is aware of it or not."

Dean felt no comfort from Castiel's grim words. If anything it made his panic worse. That meant if the word 'yes' follows Lucifer's name whether accidently or not, whether Sam knew it or not, all would be lost. Dean would not reliquish his little brother to the likes of that king of demons. He would not!

By now, Bobby had rolled into the room to see the scene. His eyes were wide, heart pounding. He prayed Sam would wake up.

"I can't….I'm sorry…….." Sam cried out unknowingly fighting Dean.

Dean withstood the hits that weren't all that hard by themselves. More annoying than anything. But for his brother he would stand anything. Sam tried to move his head back and forth but Dean's hands held them firmly in place.

"Don't you dare give in Sam! Don't you dare!! I don't care what that ^%*$! says you fight this Sam!"

"Lucifer……I….."

Dean shook Sam by the shoulders quickly before holding his face again. "Sammy!! Please. I'm sorry!!"

"Lucifer….I……"

"SAMMY, WAKE UP, DARN IT!" Dean screamed.

**TBC.....**

* * *

A.N: That got the 'ol heart rate going I'm sure. *fans self* I tortured my own self writing this! Does Sammy wake up? Hmmmm.....

I hope Sam's mumblings were understandable. It probably takes a second or so to figure it out. I tried to make it as plain as possible given the circumstance.


	8. Building, Unbuilding, and Rebuilding

Disclaimer:Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N:I don't think I have anything to say before hand here. Continue with Angst Sam from last chapter of course and BigBrother Dean. Oh yes, and thanks for all the favs, reviews, etc.....My inbox was flooding last night. lol. I greatly appreciate everyone's interest in this story and my others as well. Big thanks.

Summary:Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

* * *

Chapter 8: Building, Unbuilding, and Rebuilding the Obstacles

Sam unexpectedly jolted out of his fever stupor. He was breathing hard, stopping his weak blows at Dean. His hands unconsciously fisted in Dean's shirt, his eyes running around wildly trying to get his bearings.

"Sammy?" Dean asked cautiously, his green eyes searching Sam's or rather trying to since Sam's was still all over the place.

Sam finally calmed down enough to slowly become aware of his surroundings. He shut his eyes.

Dean shook Sam's head softly, "Open your eyes, Sammy. Open your eyes for me."

Sam opened his eyes and looked at Dean. "I…..I can't." Tears began to pour out of his eyes trailing down the side of his face. Dean felt his tears on his hands but refused to remove his hands from the side of Sam's face. "I don't know how much more I can take. Everyone leaves me. I know I deserved it, but I'll be alone someday, I know it. I don't…."

"Sammy, listen to me", Dean said firmly, tears still trailing down his own face. He waited until Sam's eyes were locked to his.

He was unaware that Bobby and Castiel had slipped back into the kitchen as his only focus was his brother.

"You will not be alone, not now and not ever. I will always be with you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm so sorry for last night. I messed up big time."

Sam shook his head as best he could, "No, you have every right to be angry with me. I know I'm a screw-up and…." He closed his eyes.

"Sammy, open your eyes. Keep them open", Dean ordered.

Sam opened his eyes but didn't look at Dean.

"Look at me, Sammy", Dean said.

Sam refused to do so, so Dean tried to catch his eyes by moving his face. Sam's eyes darted the opposite way. Dean moved his head in time to try to catch Sam's eyes but each time Sam avoided him.

"Sammy please", Dean resorted to begging, "You are not a screw-up and I'm not angry with you. Please little brother, please talk to me."

"I'm tired, Dean" came a soft barely thread of a voice. Dean felt the hands in his shirt slacking.

"I know you are little brother but we need to talk right now. It has been too long already. I was scared. Scared you'd give in to Lucifer." Dean confessed.

Sam didn't say anything and that did not help with the situation.

"I've run out of words, Dean. All that is left is I'm tired. Please leave me be", Sam said so softly that if Dean wasn't so close he wouldn't have been able to hear it.

Dean shook his head, "I've abandoned you enough already Sam. I will not now."

"Dean…."

"Sammy, please. I'm begging you. Look I'm on my knees too. I'm begging, man, begging", Dean cried in desperation. He could not help but to gently shake's Sam's head in emphasis. What would it take to get through to his little brother? He refused to believe he had come too late. After all they have been through he would not let this beat them. He wouldn't!

Sam looked at Dean seeing for the first time the tears in his eyes, tears that did roll down his face.

"Have you been crying? Are you crying?" Sam asked in a little bit of a stronger voice. He seemed confused.

"I dunno, am I?" Dean asked. He just now became aware of the tears.

"Yes."

Dean laughed shortly. "Huh, I guess I have."

"What? You just now realized it?" Sam asked softly.

"Apparently, you had me worried bro. I wasn't concerned about anything else."

Sam's eyes drifted away from his but to Dean's relief did not close. "Why?"

Dean was floored. "What do you mean, why?"

"You have a right to be mad you know", Sam said instead.

"Sam, I told you before, I wasn't mad at you and that stands true today. I'm not mad at you." Dean persisted.

Sam's hands dropped from fisting Dean's shirt. "I know you are. The longer you had the think about it the madder you got. It's only common sense. It took awhile for the events to settle into your brain and fester long enough to get a true reaction."

"What is this? Chemistry or something?" Dean joked lightly but was disappointed that Sam did not have a comeback. He sighed softly, "I'm not mad at you, Sammy."

Sam seemed unconvinced. Dean breathed; he would never get through Sam until he made that first step. He released Sam's face and sat back on his heals leaning against the couch, he ran his hands over his face to get rid of the tears. He wiped his hands on his shirt, yet all the while he never took his eyes off Sam who now being released turned his head to the back of the couch. Dean could see that Sam had not closed his eyes and was grateful he did not have to fight him on that issue. He still could not bear to see Sam's eyes closed right now. It was a close call.

Too close for Dean's comfort and probably Castiel's and Bobby's as well.

Dean sighed again. "I…..I was mad at myself, and the Famine."

This made Sam turn his head to face Dean who was staring back at him. Their eyes locked and bore into each other. "I get being mad at the Famine but why yourself?"

Dean's eyes skittered away from Sam, almost ashamed. He so did not want to talk about this, but he knew that for the good he would have to. Sam wouldn't think that he wasn't mad at him unless he had a good reason.

And a good reason that Sam either brought or believed.

Sam would not believe just anything pitched at him in this state and unless Dean had a heart-to-heart that he normally avoided like the plague itself, they were never gonna get anywhere. And Dean would whether have a chick flick worthy of making it to the top three of the 'Winchester Chick Flick moments' than to just let Sam drown in his perceived guilt. So he guessed he had no choice but to state what actually been bothering him for the last week, before Sam was beyond listening and believing anything he said. And then Sam would make up something in his own mind and let that fester and that would not be good. He had already done that and Dean needed to undo it. So lost in his thoughts, it took a moment to catch onto someone getting his attention.

"Dean. Dean! Are you okay? You are checking out on me", Sam said a little worried.

Dean still didn't look at him. Instead he cleared his throat, "Yea, uh sorry..."

"Look at me Dean", Sam ordered softly.

Dean obeyed after a moment hesitation.

"Why are you mad at yourself?" Sam asked once again.

Dean was silent as he lowered his glaze. Sam's shirt became very interesting.

Sam scoffed, and shook his head in frustration as he turned and looked back at the ceiling. How could he help his brother if he would not allow him to help? He understood that Dean learned from the best (or the worse depending on your view) on how to avoid your feelings:

Take them all and shove them in a dark corner of your mind. Place it under heavy chains and a bus loads of locks. Build a solid concrete wall around the feelings that are now on lockdown. Buried so deep, you can barely see them under all the chains and lock. But wait, then put some explosive in front of the wall. After that put some yellow DO NOT ENTER tape around the area and then after that....this is the kicker, put some land mines around the area and then finally swear on the pain of death, that ye shall not distrub.

Overkill? Yeah, definitely.

Dean's mind would make a harden military personal shudder at the obstacles he had to overcome.

Sam snorted to himself. He hated that his father passed that onto his older brother. And normally, even though he hated that trait he dealt with it, but he was a firm believer that some things should not be buried. Because if they are, they would self destruct and then no one would be able to help because then not even the person who created the obstacles would be able to undo all the chains and walls.

For if it exploded what could they undo?

"Famine said something to me."

Sam shifted his head but did not look at Dean. Dean's eyes skittered over his brother's face briefly before looking back down at the shirt.

"Yeah?" Sam prompted. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. He was told last night, but he desperately needed to hear Dean say it.

To acknowledge it.

Dean cleared his voice. This was so hard! He fought to keep his voice steady, "It said......that.....I was.....because I wasn't affected.....because......it said......." Dean couldn't even seem to speak right.

Sam kept silent, allowing Dean to fumble through until he got it out.

"It said.......I was............" Dean paused. He didn't want to tell his brother this!! What would Sam think?

Uncomfortable silence on Dean's part drifted between them. Still Sam didn't say anything but just stare up at the ceiling. Finally the silent was broken.

"You know what, no, uh-huh....." Dean shook his head.

Sam snapped and looked at him wide eyed at the unexpected show of feeling.

Dean stood up, careful not to mean Sam's glaze. He folded his arms and turned sideways. "I can't do this, I can't.....nope.....no way....no...nope", he frowned shaking his head almost violently.

Sam just continued to stare his mouth opened slightly, eyes wide in surprise still.

**TBC.....**

* * *

A.N: I got carried away with the locking down the feelings. It just came to me, and it kept going. Sorta some humor there in the midst of this drama.

Now, originally, this was supposed to be the second to the last chapter and then next woulda been the epilogue but for some reason it seems that Dean has more to say. I dunno, I was just re-reading and editing somehow this happened. So, we'll all be in the same boat in wondering what's with Dean now.

So, good news, seems we'll get an extra chapter at least. lol


	9. I can't

Disclaimer:Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: As I said last chapter due to unforeseen circumstances seems we'll get an extra chapter here, but as I continued to revise and reedit for some reason the Winchesters had more to say. So, this long chapter is broken up into two extra chapters.

So let's watch (or rather read) and see what's going on with Dean and Sam now. This was not my doing, it just happened. Lol ;p (After writing this chapter, a fun fact: count how many times Sam sighed in this. It's hilarious.)

Also, once again thanks for all the support on this story!! I was shocked that things kept pouring it so soon after I uploaded this story! You all make me happy! ^__^

Summary:Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

* * *

Chapter 9: I can't

Dean was still protesting against…….

Wait.......what _was _he protesting against?

This unexpected turn of events stunned Sam. What was going through his brother's mind now?

"Dean?" he asked questioningly.

"I can't do it, Sam. I won't do it", Dean said shrugging, still not looking down at Sam.

"Can't do what? Won't do what?" Sam asked his eyes still big. Well, as big as they could be since he was still feeling a little ill. He found he had to shift his neck uncomfortably to see his brother.

"I can't…..I just can't….." Dean repeated.

"Dean, please man. I don't know what you are talking about." Sam said a little helplessly.

"You aren't supposed to know Sam. I can't….you know I really, really……_**can't.**_" Dean reiterated.

Sam sighed. He wished he felt a little better to try to decipher Dean's hidden message. "You can't what? Can't tell me something, can't jump, can't drive…..what?"

Dean glared down at him. "I can't…." he repeated.

Sam sighed and looked back at the ceiling. This was getting nowhere fast. He turned his head to the back of the couch and closed his eyes. This was hopeless.

"Open your eyes, Sam…..keep them open", came a soft order.

"I gotta sleep sometime, Dean", Sam said not obeying.

"Not at present moment. Open your eyes, Sam", Dean said.

Sam sighed once again and cracked his eyes open but did not turn his head. His sighing was coming habitual now.

"Dean, I'm tired, man. If you don't want to talk then go away and let me sleep", Sam stated a little snappish. He was sick of trying to figure out which way Dean was going. If he didn't want to talk fine, he didn't have to. Sam was sick and he was tired and he wanted to sleep, darn it!

"How is he?" came a deep voice.

"Aside from the fact this jerk won't let me sleep, I'm fine. Can you people, please get lost! Go play in the fields somewhere", Sam growled as best he could as he shifted his glaze to the ceiling.

Dean rolled his eyes and Castiel looked between the two confused. "I thought you two were making progress?" he asked.

"We were, until someone kept saying that he can't, but like the jerk he is, he won't say what he can't do or say or whatever!!" Sam hissed.

Castiel turned his piercing glaze to Dean who looked at him indignantly. "I know what I'm doing", he found he had to growl out to counter Castiel's glaze.

"Apparently, you do not", Castiel countered softly.

Dean opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Now, can I sleep, _please_?" Sam whined now.

"NO!" Dean cried.

"Why not?"

"We are merely concerned that Lucifer would use this time to strike as he did moments ago, either your subconscious dreaming him up or he himself. You do seem a little better though." Castiel observed.

Sam snorted.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Dean said.

"It's a snort, Dean. It doesn't mean anything." Sam sulked.

"With you it means something. Now, I'm not gonna ask you again, what does that mean?"

"What does you saying, you can't, mean?" Sam shot back.

The two brothers glared at each other, neither backing down. Castiel sighed. "Look, you two need to get yourselves together. We are at war and do not have time to for you all's petty arguments."

"Petty" both chorused turning their glare two the rogue angel.

"Yes, petty, you idjits", Bobby agreed as he rolled in. "I thought we were making progress."

"We were, until Dean started with his, I can't routine and like the macho he-man he _thinks _he is, he won't tell me what the heck it means!" Sam cried.

"I just told you, I can't. Can't you leave it alone?" Dean implored.

"NO!! Cause you know what, I'm sick and tired of dealing with your mood swings this week!! You stand there and say you aren't mad at me. Okay fine, then you say you are mad at yourself but won't man up and tell me why! So guess what, I'm sticking with you are mad at me and can't come up with a reasonable excuse as to deny it!" Sam was breathing hard as tears re-gathered in his eyes, making them wet.

"Isn't my word, enough?" Dean asked.

"NO, cause actions speak louder than words. Remember that third grade concept", Sam snapped turning his face to the back of the couch, staring at the pattern.

"Castiel, would you?" Bobby asked nodding to Dean.

"Certainly."

Dean felt a swift hit on the back of his head. He rubbed the back of his head and glared at Castiel and Bobby in turn.

"Thank you, I'd do it myself, but you know……handicapped and all", Bobby said with a nod of thanks to the angel.

Dean lowered his hand only to be hit by Castiel again. "That was from me……personally", the angel said. Obviously he had spent waaaay too much time with Bobby this past week. Bobby snorted with laughter.

"Look you idjit, just tell your brother, otherwise I'll do it for you", Bobby said, his brief amusement dying down.

"You wouldn't?" Dean growled.

"Watch me."

"Dean, this is pointless. Sam already knows what the Famine said to you, about you being dead inside." Castiel stated.

Dean turned to Castiel violently. "What?"

Castiel cocked his head and asked, "That is what you can't do, isn't it? Tell him."

"What?" Dean repeated.

"We told him last night. When he was panicking and you did nothing, by the way." Bobby couldn't help but grill that in that the moment as he elaborated.

"But, I listened to your conversation. I was on the stairs." Dean revealed.

"Really? For how long?"

Dean was silent. He had made it up to his room only to throw things around before trekking back down the stairs intending to rip the others down some more in his anger. That was when he came back in time to hear Sam's words:

_But he isn't dying right? _

And from there he heard the rest of the conversation.

"Then, why….why didn't you say you knew?" Dean asked softly looking back at Sam.

"Saying, I can't, implies a lot of things Dean", Sam mocked as well as he could.

"But you knew why I was mad at myself?" Dean persisted.

"No, cause contrary to popular opinion, I'm not a mind reader. I had an inkling it had something to do with it, but I was waiting for you to tell me." Sam sighed once more, his eyes drifting close.

"Open your eyes Sam", Dean ordered without missing a beat and lowered himself back down to sit in front of the couch. He studied Sam as he continued, "Wait, even if you had an inkling why didn't you speak up man?"

Bobby had rolled himself out followed by Castiel. Apparently they were needed to help move things along. Bobby was tired after all this. He would sleep for a week, the first chance he got. The emotional energy spent alone this past week was taxing and for as close the boys were they could be utterly clueless sometimes.

"Some things, a person needs to admit for themselves, not have a person force words or thoughts in their mouth", Sam murmured.

**TBC…..**

* * *

A.N: Apparently, Sam blew his top. I know we all love Dean but for some reason he always makes things harder. . He's so stubborn. Thank God for Castiel and Bobby huh?

Short chapter. Next one is longer. :)


	10. Laying it all down

Disclaimer:Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: The second extra chapter. Nothing to say before hand.

Summary:Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

* * *

Chapter 10: Laying it all down

Silent drifted between them for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. Dean sighed. Why couldn't he just have this conversation and be done with it? Why did he fight this tooth and nail?

"I'm not mad at you, Sam, you know that", Dean repeated.

"You should be." Sam's eyes fluttered as he turned his head to face the ceiling.

"No, I shouldn't. I'm not. Why would I be?" Dean asked watching Sam closely, "Why do you insist on my being mad at you?

"Hmmmm" Sam muttered, his eyes finally shut.

Dean nudged him. "Wakey wakey, we aren't through."

"What part of I'm tired, do you people _not_ get?" Sam muttered out.

"The part where we are trying to have a conversation….I'll let you sleep in a bit when I'm convinced you won't let Lucifer attack your subconscious or however that works."

Sam sighed and struggled to stay awake.

"Now, once more, why do you insist on my being mad at you and don't give me a smart answer", Dean warned. He was back to big brother mode after his brief fallout a minute earlier.

"Cause, I broke my promise. I drunk demon blood again. We've had this conversation before, Dean." Sam said softly after a moment had passed.

"Indeed we did, and you heard what I told you then right? It wasn't your fault. It was the Famine. He did this to you. You told me to lock you down, for crying out loud. If that isn't responsibility I don't know what is." Dean argued back. What would it take to get that though his brother's thick skull?

"Alright", Sam said turning his head to look Dean in the eye, "then you know that it isn't your fault either and you have no reason to be mad at yourself. Direct that anger towards the Famine or Lucifer where it belongs. Even I would be a better target, if you just find yourself needing to be mad at someone….or something as the case may be."

"Sam…" Dean warned.

"I'm just saying, man. I'm trying to prove a point here", Sam sighed, looking back at the ceiling. He was sure there was a pattern of a star up there, with the amount of times he spent looking up at it.

"Yeah, yeah, but that's different." Dean argued Sam's original point.

Sam sighed exasperated and closed his eyes a brief moment before opening them, "How pray tell is it different? Enlighten me, oh, wise one."

Dean ran a hand through his hair in agitation, ignoring Sam's wise remark and asked, "Why else would I not be affected, huh?"

Sam was silent.

"See even you can't come up with something", Dean argued.

Sam sighed again. "Dean, I don't feel well, so I apologize if it takes me an extra second or four to answer."

Dean looked a little sheepish. He found Sam's shirt interesting again. Silence fell over them for awhile until finally a soft voice broke it.

"Cause you are well-fed." Sam answered Dean's previous question.

Dean chuckled once.

"What?" Sam asked glancing at Dean. He was finding it hard to keep up with his brother today.

"That is what I told Castiel when he asked during our hunt."

"Well, it's the truth."

Dean snorted. "That's bogus. Even I don't buy it now." He looked off to the side, staring at the clear bowl of water that had long since warmed.

"Besides you deserve better, Sam." He added softly after a second. He had to say it. Sam deserved to know.

Sam looked at Dean shock showing in his eyes. "Dean, now that's bogus. If anything you deserve better."

"Sammy…. come on man, it's true." Dean cried pushing himself off the floor turning his back to Sam. He ran his head through his disheveled hair. "You don't deserve a living dead brother." he said bitterly. It left a bad taste in his mouth, "That…..that thing…..was right….. Why else would I not be affected when everyone else including Castiel was?"

"Because you are too good for that and mostly cause you are well-fed." Came a soft reply.

"Sammy……" Now was not the time for Sam to come up with smart answers that didn't make a lick of sense.

And Dean said as much.

"Alright, Dean, listen to me."

Dean heard some grunts and turned around to find Sam sitting up, placing his feet on the floor. "Hey, hey, what are you doing?" He knelt before Sam gripping his forearms before Sam could keel face first onto the floor.

Sam closed his eyes trying to get his equilibrium back. "Lay back down, Sam", Dean ordered seriously.

Sam shook his head and placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, "No Dean, listen to me. Really listen to me, for once."

"When have I ever not?" Dean laughed once trying to hide his growing concern at Sam's harsh breathing.

"Not now, Dean. Focus, here. Focus…." Sam muttered.

"Alright, I'm focusing", Dean said.

It took a moment before Sam could open his eyes and not feel dizzy.

When he did open his eyes, he looked straight into Dean's. "You are not dead inside. I'm your brother if anyone knows, it's me. The reason you weren't affect, could be anyone's guess. But you aren't dead inside. How can you when you are ready to put up with the biggest screw-up on the planet? And that, my brother is not understatement. And you are….. well-fed."

Dean looked away from Sam, but Sam shook him. "Look at me Dean."

When Dean obeyed Sam went on, "When you are hungry, you become a walking garbage can. You are a walking disposal. It's a proven fact. Now if we can get it into scientific fact, that would be great."

At this Dean cracked a small smirk. Sam continued, "When you want a drink, you leave me with see-ya and disappear to the nearest bar. When you want sex, you talk about it a little too much for my taste and then go get it…….anything you want, you are so free you just go get it."

Dean nodded his agreement. He could accept that.

"You are free, Dean. That is why you were not affected. I have never met someone as free and uninhibited as you are. Hippies would adore you Dean. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad of that trait in you."

"So.......", Dean drawled his mouth twitching, "next time I'm scarfing down a burger you'll watch with delight?"

Sam crinkled his nose, "God no. I just said it saved you this time. Now whether you die from a hunt or diabetes or something else all together is another debate. And for the record you aren't going anywhere any time soon. Not while I'm still here."

"Glad to hear it", Dean said before he sobered and his eyes darted away from Sam's, "You know that, that is just a theory at best." He just had to say it.

Sam shrugged, "Maybe it is. I agree, maybe that's not 100% why weren't affected. Maybe cause you don't have an addictions or cravings. Maybe because you are Michael's so called vessel and you come with something that equips you not to be affected by such things. The list could go on. But Dean…"

He gripped Dean's shoulders forcing him to focus on him once more. "But you just said it, Dean."

Dean looked confused, "Said what?"

"That it's a theory", Sam drawled out before continuing, "And it's **my** theory, **my** reason for why you weren't affected. Just as Famine gave you **his **theory, I'm giving you mine. Yeah, we can sit and dispute my theory until pigs began to fly."

At this Dean let out a small snort. Sam smiled once and continued,

"But Dean, if Famine can give you his theory and you are so quick to accept it, can't I give you mine and you accept mine just as quick if not quicker?"

At this, a light seemed to be slowly turning itself on, in Dean's head.

Sam saw it in his eyes and knew he was making headway, so he continued, "If anyone's opinion should matter shouldn't it be mine? I'm your brother."

Sam gave his trademark pleading puppy dog eyes to help his case, "Shouldn't your family and friends, Castiel's and Bobby's opinion matter? None of us believe a word that thing said. I don't believe it, Castiel doesn't believe it and Bobby doesn't believe it. Shouldn't that matter? Shouldn't our word account for something? Aren't we the ones closest to you? Are you going to believe an evil infested being over your own family? Dean please, you've gotta stop beating yourself up over this."

Dean's eyes looked a little moist as he looked away. Sam shook him, making him glance back him. "Now…. forget what others say. You aren't dead inside, Dean." Sam said.

"_**You aren't**_" Sam stressed.

There was silence for a bit as the two sat absorbing all that was said. Dean looked down, unable to look Sam in the eye after his speech. Still they sat, Sam's hands on Dean's shoulder and Dean's hands on his forearms.

"The enemy will always find something to use against you. Don't let them use your giving and free nature against you, too." Sam begged softly after awhile had passed.

Dean looked up at Sam and Sam could see more of his brother then he had in weeks. Sam felt on the road to being satisfied about his brother's mental state, as he sighed once more, his energy giving out.

"I've gotta lay down", he said. Dean wordlessly helped him lay back down. Sam closed his eyes briefly before allowing them to flutter. Dean switched his position from kneeling on his knees to sitting cross-legged. His legs greatly thanked him for the change in position.

Comfortable silence drifted between, until it was broken by Dean. It seemed Sam's words were able to fully sink into his brain. He laughed with some relief as he stared at the carpet. "I…..it…." he breathed, "And to think, I almost…….." he stopped shame gripping him.

He couldn't believe it passed through his head. How stupid would that have been? The enemy had come so close to winning.

"Almost what?" Sam asked. When he looked down at Dean he became a little fearful of this new revelation. He saw the look on Dean's face and knew it wasn't good.

"Bobby and Castiel were right. I was thinking about giving in….saying yes. Especially that first night…… I just felt as everything was falling to pieces. So small, that even I wasn't able to put it together again. And everything was just… it came….bearing down and………. I became……._desperate_."

Dean started picking at the carpet, as his eyes became wet once again. They were probably already red. He would never forget the feeling of that night. No matter how hard he tried, he could never forget that feeling. That hopeless, that hapless that…...._desperate _feeling.

Dean continued, finding himself unable to stop once he started talking. "I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to see you suffer. I couldn't stand it so I left and I prayed Sammy. I didn't know what else to do. And then….the Famine, saying that I was dead inside. What other reason did I have to believe that he wasn't telling the truth? I didn't want to eat, didn't want to sleep, didn't want to drink or even get me some. And the longer I thought about, the more I just……" he trailed off with a helpless shrugged.

Something clicked in Sam's mind. "You were depressed.......even before the Famine."

Dean scoffed still not looking at Sam. "I don't get depressed, Sam." The audacity of his statement!

"No….it makes perfect sense."

Dean looked up perplex at Sam, "Uh, it does?" He raised an eyebrow.

Sam nodded, "Yes", he eagerly explained, "another possible reason the Famine couldn't affect you was cause there was nothing to affect."

".......Come again?"

"Listen, if you were depressed it was possible that you didn't have anything in the forefront of your mind that the Famine could use. You had lost interest in everything so what could the Famine amplify? Nothing."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better? I don't get depressed, Sam."

"Didn't you once say that your lives were a river of crap that would send most people, howling to the nuthouse?" Sam asked.

"So? It's true."

"And I don't dispute that. But, don't you think after everything we've been through, everything we are going through, that we don't deserve to get depressed? That you deserved to be depressed; to get down in the dumps? You've been running for years…._years_, Dean and finally your mind and body said enough. But the key is not to drown in that depression. That is what family is for and as Bobby so eloquently said, family don't end in blood."

"So, I was due?" Dean asked a little skeptical.

"Overdue." Sam corrected.

"Okay, so are you supposed to get depressed sometime or something?" According to Sam's theory, Dean supposed he was to expect Sam to get 'down in the dumps' as well.

Sam looked back at the ceiling. It was a moment before he answered. "I've been depressed before Dean. Several times, you know that."

Dean stopped and thought for a moment. He could see a few times that Sam was depressed.

"But….it wasn't like mine……." Dean hesistated to say. He was feeling out of his league with this topic.

"Depression works different for different people. Besides, my worse depression was when……"

"When…." Dean prompted. He didn't really want to know, but felt he needed to know.

"When you died." Sam said so softly, it took a moment to realize for Dean to realize what his brother had uttered.

Silence trailed after that.

"You shouldn't feel bad about almost giving into Michael", Sam said after a bit.

"Why not?" Dean scoffed clearly upset with his lack of willpower at the time.

"Then you will have to condemn me the same way you are condemning yourself."

This made Dean looked up violently, "Are you saying…."

"I have thought about it to", Sam said softly.

Dean looked a little shocked. "Before…. just now? Obviously."

"Of course." Sam said as if it was obvious thing in the world, turning his glaze back at Dean. It was a moment before Sam spoke again, "So…."

"So what?" Dean asked.

"Are you upset with me?"

"No." And Dean really wasn't. What matters was that Sam didn't say yes. That he resist.

"Good, then don't be upset with yourself." Sam turned back to his ceiling glazing, his eyes drifting down, "We all have moments, Dean where it seems we want to give up but we can't. We just……can't."

Dean studied his little brother.

"Besides, if I say yes, who is gonna keep you in line?" Sam smiled cheesy.

Dean sniffed. "Same here, I say yes, and you'd probably jump off a bridge.......literally."

"Then I guess we each have one more reason to stay strong", Sam said.

Dean nodded before he frowned.

Sam seemed to sense Dean's change without opening his eyes. He asked, "What is it Dean?"

"I won't leave, one way or another, I'm not leaving. Not until I'm…..hoooo, 90 or something." Dean said seriously.

Sam cracked open an eye and lazily looked at his brother. He smiled. "Good, that sounds about right. And you know that you aren't dead inside. If you ever have doubts you come to me and I'll check your heart and tell ya." His eyes closed back once again.

"Now, how pray tell, little brother, would you do that?" Dean grinned feeling more himself than he had in a long time.

"I've got my ways." Sam grinned mysteriously.

"B*****"

"Jerk."

**TBC.....**

* * *

A.N: Yay!!! The Winchesters seem to have gotten themselves back together. Sam ended up having much to say....as usual. For every thing Dean had to say, Sam had twice as much to say. lol But that's why we love 'em.

Almost to the end. Awwww.......unless something else comes up, the next chapter will be the last.... :(


	11. Epilogue: Back in Black

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or anything you recongize from the SPN show.

A.N: Man, I'm a little sad. This is the last chapter. I had such fun writing this, and looking/reading all that everyone had to say about this story. I'll miss it. Once again, a final thanks for all the support on this story!! You all made my days the last few days here. =D

Summary: Tag to 5x14- My Bloody Valentine. How was he going to fix Sam when he couldn't even fix himself? Sequel to fanfic: From Laughter to Desperation. Major DepressiveDean, AngstLimp Sam, SupportativeCastiel N Bobby

* * *

Epilogue: Back in Black

It seems after that day, things began to get better.

Much better.

Bobby and Castiel had both been ecstatic to see that the Winchesters were back in business or rather they reconcile. Sam was still a bit ill, and Dean insisted on him getting rest. Dean became more and more his old self hovering over Sam in the days to come. Sam didn't protest......

.....Well...... the first few days, anyway.

The good natured bickering slowly began to refilled the Singer household and it was music to Bobby's sweet, sweet ears. Castiel began to sense less and less tension and finally the brother's convinced him that he could ship out. Dean would call if he needed the angel again. In his own way he thanked Castiel for being here for them. Castiel just smiled in his way and accepted the token of gratitude though none was needed. So a few days after the Winchester's reconcile Castiel resumed his search for his Father, finally convinced within himself that he did not needed to stick so close anymore.

Now another full another week and a half had passed and Sam was back on his feet again and restarting his "no demon blood" regime again. A lot of unresolved issues had been laid to rest for the brothers. Dean was finally convinced that he was not dead inside anymore and Sam was convinced that Dean was not mad at him and would not leave him.

It wasn't Sam's fault after all, there are plenty of people.......or rather beings to blame.

Let's examine that list shall we?

First and foremost Lucifer, followed by the Famine, Zachariah, Ruby, Lilith, lower level demons….upper level demons…middle class demons........eh, you get the idea.

Plenty of blame to go around.

Plenty....

* * *

"I'm gonna miss you, boys", Bobby said rolling out onto the porch.

It was early in the morning, the sun having just arrived to it's rightful place in the sky. It was a fairly decent day, not as cold as it as been. Spring was definitely in the air. The Winchesters and Bobby, were standing on the porch. Sam had convinced Dean that he was in one piece and ready to hit the road......

....And that took two days by itself.

It took those two days for Dean to catch up and feel comfortable with getting back on the road. He wanted to make absolute sure that Sam was in perfect conditon.

Well, maybe not _perfect_ condition but you get the point.

"We'll miss you too, Bobby", Sam smiled, dimples showing.

Although, Bobby wouldn't admit it outloud, he was happy to see them. Dean muttered something that sounded suspiciously like agreement with his young brother's statement.

"Well, we gotta hit the road. Gotta stop the Apocalypse 'n all, and when that is done I'm sleeping for a year. I'm still tired." Dean grouched.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, we'll both hibernate like bears."

"Yep, let's hit the road, Sammy", he playfully smacked Sam on the shoulder, as he turned and walked down the porch stairs to the car, "See ya Bobby!" he waved his hand up once.

"Bye, and you idjits take care. You need anything you get back here pronto and I mean it!! Don't make me hunt you boys down!" Bobby threatened good naturedly.

"Yeah, yeah", Dean yelled back opening the Impala door and disappeared within.

Sam laughed. "Take care Bobby", he waved before sliding into the passenger seat. He closed his own door.

"Let's ride, what do you say?" Dean grinned.

"We've got work to do?" Sam asked.

"You know it. And we can't start without something proper." Dean looked really serious, though his eyes were twinkling.

"I'm scared to ask, what is it?" Sam mocked caution.

"AC/DC, Back in black, baby. Rrrrooo", Dean said as he held up the cassette before popping it in.

Sam shook his head but otherwise did not say anything as Dean started the car and the song blasted throughout. Dean pulled out of the Singer driveway singing to the song.

Or, you know, whatever his equivalent is to singing.

Sam sighed but smiled, contently. He wouldn't have in any other way.

_Back in black_

_I hit the sack _

_It's been too long and I'm glad to be back……_

Sam looked at his older brother's happy face. Something he hadn't seen in a long time. Nope, he wouldn't change a thing.

.

.

.

.

Bad singing included.

**FIN. **

* * *

A.N: BLUBLB.....THAT'S ALL FOLKS!! (I'm sorry.....I really should get a cartoon fix....it's been awhile since I watched the Looney Tunes or something akin to it -__-')

I just had to go for a fairly sappy happy ending. lol Of course I always do happy endings but there was probably a little sap in it. lol

Anyway, the road ends here!! :( Once again thanks for all the support and I hope everyone enjoyed this story!! My Bloody Valentine truly was one of the most epic eppies of the season so far and probably will be after the season is done. lol


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